Temptation Island

Last week was both good and challenging. I am settling into a nice pattern with my workouts that look like this: Crossfit Monday and Wednesday; Kickboxing Thursday; running or walking everyday but Tuesday, and on the weekends I aim for 2 miles each day. My calves are getting tighter, so I need to stretch them more. The tightness is making running more difficult and I am listening to my body this time instead of getting injured. Other people in my 90 Miles group are doing 2-3 miles every day which is working for them, but with my other activities, and my proneness for injury, I am sticking to one mile a day as my baseline. Thankfully it has gotten ridiculously beautiful out in the last few days, so I have taking walks around the neighborhood and loving it!


I am sure it tasted good, but I don’t want to know how good.

Food-wise I am still to plan but had some unexpected challenges last week and a Friday of cravings that were insane!!So everything started off ok for the week. I made grilled chicken on my new BBQ, it was tasty as f*ck and I made a pot roast that was also wicked delicious. The tough part came on Friday. It was a random event, a coworker gave me one Lindt chocolate ball. Innocent enough, nothing crazy. I sat there at my lunch table and seriously contemplated eating it and then ultimately gave it to someone else. For the rest of the day all I could do was dream about chocolate. I wanted to pour a bath of pure milk chocolate, bathe in it and eat my way out. I am not kidding. I felt on-edge. The thought of chocolate came back to me all afternoon. After work, on my way to my manicure, I stopped at Target and bought a banana and ate it. After the second bite my entire body relaxed and my obsession died down. I was just surprised at how quickly I went from normal to full on craving attack. I am glad there was no chocolate lying around in the break room to tempt me.


The mountain of donuts. NOPE

On the weekend I was at a birthday party where I successfully ate to plan and ignored the very attractive cake and ice cream that was delivered to me. I did not even contemplate eating the sweets, I felt if I had even a tiny bit it would awaken the dragon and I am so fucking tired of my sugar dragon. Today I had more temptation. It was like Temptation Island!! Not only did someone bring in donuts this morning {and I mean a ton}, they also brought in bagels with flavoured cream cheese spreads and enticing cinnamon muffins. I made my coffee, closed the lids to all the items, as they smell amazing, and went about my business. I did not entertain the thought of consuming any part of that card fiesta and for some reason I did not have the same reaction I did on Friday. I joked with one of my coworkers who is also eating clean that we were being tested today and he laughed and felt the same way.


I hate you cinnamon muffins.

I am halfway through my whole 30+, day 15 today! And I had to check before writing that because I have lost count of the days, which I think is a good sign! Tomorrow the Tiger Blood is supposed to arrive and I am looking forward to it! Enough of these cravings and difficult moments! I am ready to embrace all the good things from eating this way!

This weekend my friend Shaun arrives from Canada—I am hoping to navigate through this as healthily and compliant to the Whole 30 as possible. I am sure I will have fun stories to share in a few days about it!

Whole 30+ & 90 Miles in 90 Day & CrossFit & Kickboxing

ABM_1420399531What a week! Talk about taking a lot—I went to two crossfit classes and a kickboxing class. And I did my miles, even if I walked a few, I got them done. I am pooped!!! My left calf is a little tight but I am continuing to stretch and roll it {and drink more water with a bit of sea salt}. My inner thighs are sore and my abs. Fine, I am a bit of a wreck!!! But considering I went from 0 to 100 in the space of a few days, this is to be expected. So I truck on.

I also started a Whole 30 this week—with extra food as per my nutritionist’s advice. I can say that this might have made the difference between experiencing the Kill All The Things phase and not. And I didn’t experience it at all. I also did not get a headache on day 2 or 3. I can only presume that eating protein every 2.5 hours is helping me have a non-starved reaction to eating clean. There has only been one day {yesterday} where I wanted to eat chocolate, and that is because a coworker brought Hershey Kisses to my desk and offered me some. So then I thought about those kisses all afternoon. Fucking Hershey Kisses.

whole30 day tiredToday I am exhausted though. I could nap all day and not have a care in the world about it. I think it is a good combination of all the exercise I have been doing and my eating clean. I am interested to see if I have the crazy dreams next week or not. I wonder if the entire timeline to the Whole 30 might be different because I am not starving myself. I am kind of excited to see what happens next!!

Here is what I ate this week:

Meal One: 1 egg, 2 egg white scrambled eggs; cauli-rice; ½ cup of oatmeal w cinnamon and ½ a banana

Snack One: 3.5 oz of chicken with plantain chips

Meal Two: 2.5 chicken pesto meatballs in a homemade marinara sauce with green beans and either cauli-rice or spaghetti squash

Snack Two: Protein pancake that has 2 egg whites, a scoop of protein powder {cake batter flavour!}, ¼ cup of rolled oats and a dash of cinnamon

Meal Three: I made this fucking amazing stir fry this week with garlic and ginger. I ate it two nights in a row and I might make it again week 3 cause it was INSANELY GOOD. I also had a steak and a hamburger this week. With broccoli or spaghetti squash or green beans.

DindinI do have to say that at 10pm every night, without fail, I get bat-shit crazy hungry. I go to bed but seriously. I don’t even crave sugar!!! I just want more protein!!! MOOOOOAAAAAARRRR I need to email my nutritionist and figure out what could be causing this.

Anyways, I am feeling pretty great for my first week on my Whole30+ and my 90 Miles in 90 Days. Look for the stir fry recipe soon, cause you will lose your shit over it, I swear!!

5 Miles in

ex 90miles day 1On January 1st it started–90 miles run or walked, in 90 days. On the first day I slept in and honestly avoided it for as long as I could. Then my husband and I went to Body Evolution and knocked it out. Then I finished it off with a 1,000m row. I felt good but sore. Friday I felt nauseated so I took the day off but the weekend I went both days and did over 2 miles each day! By the Sunday my left ass cheek was feeling sore {why only that cheek? what up cheek??}. But I got out my foam roller and rolled it out. I have an awesome support group in my friends, we have started a Facebook page and post things to support each other. It’s great!!

ex 90miles day 4Today has been more a of challenge. Back at work and then I went to my Crossfit box and did a WOD that was terrible. I wish I could be nice about it, but 7 rounds of 7 movements done 7 times each was painful and I felt like quitting halfway through. But I didn’t. I was scaled back to 5 rounds and it still took me 24:45. And I still need to do my mile today. So I am eating dinner and planning to go for a walk with my husband after. You know in temperatures close to freezing. I am a glutton for punishment!

Of course I anticipate being a ball of pain this week, but I will take a lot of Advil and Nighttime Recovery and roll the crap out of my body.

Year in Review

Year-in-Review2014 was an interesting year for me, it taught me about my limits, tested my resolve, I learned a bunch of new recipes and I tried to transform my eating. I have to say I wasn’t prepared for the push-back I got from my body with all its injuries and that was tough for me. I like to think I am in my 20’s and can do anything and that my body will just go with it. What I learned was that if I don’t properly stretch and take care of my muscles, said muscles are going to revolt and I will be in a world of pain.

Here is a positive that I learned: I respond well to challenges and programs. I fucking rocked my Whole 30 in January and April {or was it May?}. I learned quite a few new recipes that are staples in my everyday cooking now. I liked doing the Whole 30 because I have never gone 30 days without sugar and it was a great test. What kind of sucked is that my relationship to sugar hasn’t been fixed from it, even though I thought it might. Sugar is an addictive little motherfucker and I plan to work every day at having a better relationship with it, to not binge on it after being off it for 30 days.


This was a highlight of 2014, and my first injury.

2014 also brought me the important lesson of not being too hard on myself. My husband said it to me, as well as my doctor. I am in good shape, I am healthy and I am healing from my injuries. I need to be kinder to myself, accept my flaws and not talk to myself in a way that makes me feel bad about what has happened. I now actively harness the power of Stuart Smalley and tell myself that I am awesome, powerful and that I love myself. Do you know how hard it is to look at a body that is ugly by society’s standards and say that you love it? To tell the other voice in my head that says I am hideous to shut up? I know this sounds hokey, but seriously!!!! What you say to yourself could make or break your success, and I am a driven person {possibly to a fault, but whatevs}, and so it’s time to start loving me at this stage so that when I am about another 70lbs lighter, I will love myself there as well.

With that important lesson from 2014, I am going to approach 2015 with the mindset of doing strategic programs to get me to where I want to be body-wise and health-wise. Does this mean I will be doing another Whole 30? Kind of. I really like the eating program I got from Frances, and I have felt my metabolism kick into gear with it. I also need to get a better handle on sugar. So YES I am doing a Whole 30, just with more food, cause I really do need to eat every 2.5 hours and unfortunately the Whole 30 program thinks you can just eat more fat and that’s the same thing as a snack. {Pssst: it’s not!!} January 5th I start back up again. I am very interested to see how I feel with the extra meals, and I am hoping that might be the missing link for me getting over my almost-obsession with sugar.

90milesWhat else am I doing? Well I signed up for the 90 Miles in 90 Days Challenge, where I will be walking or running 90 miles in 90 days. It starts January 1st and I think it’s the right motivation I need to get my ass in gear for working out. It also has some pretty great prizes and a Mile High Club!!! Ha ha ha ha. If you want to join me, it’s $10 and goes until March 31st. I put it on my Facebook page at lunch and within two hours had three friends say they are joining me and another two who will unofficially do it with me. So if you want to watch me run for 90 days, my Instagram name is xine23. I will probably post here about it as well, cause I will most likely hate it for the first little bit, truth be told. I also plan on listening to my body and if I need to walk more than run thanks to my hips or calves, then so be it.

And I just wrote a novel. You’re welcome.

Annual Check-Up

ex pilates-funny-memeThis week I went to my doctor for my annual check-up, and I was nervous because I know I will fall in around the same weight as last year, even after all the hard work I had done. I was disappointed with myself and wanted to have a frank talk with her about this and make sure I am still healthy. You guys know, if you have been reading my blog for a while, I am kind of intense and possibly harsh on myself.

The visit went as expected in certain ways, my weight has not changed and I was trying to not get too upset about it. Then my doctor came in and we started talking about the year I had with my injuries and how I have changed my eating and she told me that last year when I got my labs back that I even then I was in excellent health. She emphasized how healthy I am. She said that with how I am eating, with what I am doing to workout, I am doing everything right, and even if my weight isn’t where I want it to be, I am healthy and fit. How crazy is that? I am 200+ pounds and I am fit. And healthy. She told me I am too hard on myself and to give myself a break. That if I keep on eating all the protein and the working out the weight will take care of itself. Have I mentioned that I love my doctor? From the first time we started talking we “got” each other and have gotten along. I have to say, knowing I am doing all the right things from a medical professional makes me feel really good. I feel less stressed. It’s like she gave me a sense of calm. I don’t know how long this will last {ha ha, such is the nature of me!} but I will ride it as long as I can.

ABM_1418609877Of course, the next day I woke up with a massive sore throat, so bad I could barely talk or swallow. I am still sick today and I am hoping to be better by Tuesday. I have done a lot of sleeping this weekend, taking it easy and taking a macaroon cooking class! My Vivofit has been pissed off with me at the amount of steps I have been doing, to the point that it turned off the red line that says “move your ass!” at a certain point! I defeated the Vivofit with my inactivity!! But I have felt better everyday, so sleeping 9 hours a night and napping each day has done wonders for me. Robert says that when I went to sleep this weekend he could hear me snoring over the TV! With the door to bedroom closed! Thankfully we have an extra bedroom where he could sleep.

Oh and last week was great for working out {finally!}: Monday was yoga/Pilates, Tuesday was crossfit, Wednesday was 45 minutes of cardio, Thursday was kickboxing. I will see how I feel this week, but I hope to be as active if I can get better.

Here’s to ending the year on a good note!

Protein is your Friend!

protein-funnyWhat’s up everyone? I am still in the land of the living! Don’t fret. I know I don’t post as much, but know that I am still working hard. The whole eating every 2 hours or so and it being protein-based is going really well during the week. I pre-boil my eggs on Sunday and I pre-make my tuna as well. I have always cooked my lunches in advance, so that is nothing new. I am loving my breakfasts with oatmeal included in it now, like I wake up and think “It’s oatmeal time bitches!!” and I run for the kitchen.

That being said there are still challenges. I am still having more sugar than I want. At night it’s hard and then right after lunch I cover for someone else and there is a bowl of candy that sits right in front of me. I am not entirely winning that battle. But that being said, my eating is much better!! And all this protein is making me hungrier. I am waking up not just hungry but ravenous. And by 9:30am I am frothing at the mouth for my hard boiled eggs. That sad part? Weekends. I sleep in, I edit pictures for a little bit, this past weekend I shot a CrossFit competition from 7am – 3pm and my eating was completely thrown out of whack. I am photographing something every weekend and thus I am not sitting at a desk and am not able to always eat when I should. Weekends, why you throw everything off? But in the end, if 5 out of 7 days are knocked out of the park, I will just work on getting better and not sweat it. As long as I am not going crazy with the sugar.

chiro kittehIn other news my body threw me for another curveball {shanks a lot body!}, as two Saturday’s ago I slept so hard I got a crick in my neck that went down to my shoulder blade. It didn’t go away for 5 days, I kid you not. I couldn’t turn my head hardly at all, I couldn’t lift everyday items very far, meaning working out was basically impossible. I got a hot stone massage that helped, and I rolled out my back but it really didn’t stop hurting until Thursday. So at least I went to kickboxing, but after that my life was eaten by photography all weekend. Thankfully yesterday I got to the gym and tonight I am going to Atomic CrossFit. Since I haven’t gone to CrossFit in three weeks, I plan on scaling the crap out of the WOD and aiming for survival!!

I have also starting putting my workouts in my Google calendar so that way if I book a photography gig, I can plan around my workout. And so far it is working!

New goal: blog again this week! Crazy idea, right?

P.S. I might be having a ton of protein farts…

Change #2: Food

proteinfart2So here is the struggle: I adopted full-paleo at the beginning of the year by doing a Whole 30. It worked really well, I lost weight and I was feeling like a shooting star—full of life and energy. Then after it I slowly saw myself going back to sugar {of course, you tricky vixen} and not being as strict. So I did another Whole 30. Perfect reset button, right? Not so much. I mean yes, I was off sugar and making better choices but I found myself slipping back into my old habits faster and all the weight I had lost was regained back. By the time October came around I was feeling tired. I was tired of food prep each week, all this effort and seeing little to no benefit from it. So I went to Mexico and said to myself, enjoy this trip, eat what you want when you want it. I drank alcohol {not in excess}, ate desserts and removed the guilt. Sure I got sick, but I came back home feeling restored.

This weekend I met with an old friend and trainer and she was kind enough to help dissect what I was eating and where things were going awry. Here is was a typical day looked like for me:

Breakfast {7am}: 2 fried eggs in ghee with cauliflower rice that had onions or bacon or cilantro or all of it. With water.

Snack {9am}: coffee with stevia and cream. Water. Water. Water

Lunch {12pm}: chicken or beef with green beans and plantain chips. Water.

Snack {2pm – 5pm}: ALL THE SUGAR YOU CAN FIND! IN MY MOUTH NOWWWWWW {ok not really, but yes mini chocolate bars around the office, at least 10}. Water.

Dinner {8pm after Crossfit}: chicken or beef with broccoli and potatoes. I love me my potatoes. Seriously, erry night. Sometimes fruit with whipped cream, sometimes ice cream, sometimes no dessert. Water.

The feedback I got, which I suspected, is that I am not eating enough, specifically protein. And I was saving my carby veggies until lunch or after, which is why I was losing my shit at 2pm looking for sugar. I also tracked the food I ate for 2 weeks on My Fitness Pal, and I was lucky to break 1200 a day eating the way I was, even with the chocolate—yes I tracked that even though one of Whole 30’s mantra’s is to not track you calories.

So for the next three weeks I am going to differ my eating so that I am eating every 3 hours or so and increasing the amount of protein. I have also been told to do cardio for 45 minutes every day. This makes me cry salty, salty tears. I dislike cardio but I will do it. I was given the science behind it and it makes sense {just don’t ask me to repeat it to you, cause I don’t remember the technical bits}. I plan on giving myself 2 days off a week, but on my non-crossfit days shit is about to get real. What am I going to do for 45 minutes? I can’t run that much and I don’t have a stationary bike or elliptical. I do have a jump rope…I even wish I had a rowing machine at this point. Even if rowing for 45 minutes = BARF.

So here is what I am eating as of yesterday morning:

Breakfast {7am}: 2 egg whites, 1 egg scramble with veggies and ½ cup of oatmeal. Water.

Snack {9:30am}: coffee w stevia and 1 tbsp of cream; 3 boiled eggs, eat two without their yolk. Water!!

Lunch {12pm}: chicken or beef or fish with 2 veggies. Water.

Snack {2pm}: protein pancake. Fruit. Water!

Snack {5:30pm}: Can of tuna or shredded chicken etc. Water!

CrossFit at 6pm to 7pm or my 45 minutes of cardio FUN

Dinner {7:30pm}: Same as lunch.

This isn’t horribly, terribly different from how I have been eating. I get to keep my coffee and Frances said that I can have small amounts of sweets but choose 1 day out of the week for that and to not go crazy. I mean yes, I am snacking more, but my main meals are pretty much the same. I am just going to be snacking my face off. I have even had trouble remembering to snack at the right times, but I have gotten it all in. I can tell you already that the snacks are helping with my wanting all the sugar all the time. In fact, last night my husband offered me Hershey Hugs and I didn’t really want any. I sure could have eaten some, cause YUM, but I didn’t.

Tonight is my first 45 minute cardio session {yesterday I did an hour long cardio class, I didn’t die} and I forgot my iPod with my music, so this should be interesting. I plan on doing some running, elliptical and bike. Maybe the stair machine, but I hate it, so maybe 5 minutes ha ha! Wish me luck!

Month of Madness

ex me cancunI have had an interesting month. Right before I went on vacation I had a, as the south like to call it, a come-to-Jesus talk with my chiropractor regarding all my injuries this year. It was a great chat and some truths needed to be communicated. I won’t go into too much detail, but I am making changes thanks to this chat…and I might have a very cool CrossFit experience if it comes to fruition!

So vacation happened! Went to a resort in Puerto Morelos for my cousin’s wedding and it was an insane time! The beach was beautiful, tons of pools, activities and a fun spa area. The food was mostly good and I found myself drinking more frequently than originally anticipated. Then tragedy struck–I got sick. I couldn’t keep anything in me for over 24 hours and I lost weight during the trip!! In fact a bunch of us got sick, even though we were careful not to consume any of the local water. My bet? Food workers touch the water and BOOM! cross-contamination and stomach issues. Either way, I got one workout in and had a wonderful time.

ex me cancun weddingSince then, I have been working on some things in my life. With my photography hobby getting more and more busy, and it happening on weekends, I am spending less and less time with this hot guy I married a few years ago. So I am looking at changing CrossFit boxes, from Pearland to Atomic. Atomic is 7 minutes from where I work and they have a 5pm and 6pm class that I can attend and get home earlier, meaning more quality time with the husband. It is painful, I love the people I workout with, but sometimes you need to make these changes. Thankfully the two classes I have gone to were pretty great and disgustingly sweaty. The instruction for all the movements were thorough and I had a PR in my second class for my jerk!

More changes are on their way, and for now I am going to take it easy, enjoy the last two weeks at Pearland CrossFit and work on things so I stop getting injured and fool around with how I am eating.

Third Time’s the Charm?

another-injury-whyI hate to admit this, but I injured myself again. This is getting old. If you are tired of reading this, I am tired of writing this!! 2014 has not been what I anticipated, but you know what? So what!! Sure I have felt defeated this year from all this bullshit, but what has it done? Brought me back to basics.

For those that are desiring to know, I fell out of a snatch poorly and dropped some weight on my lower back. I am bruised but I {thank goodness!!!!!} did not hurt my spine. I joke that the barbell bounce off my ample ass. But seriously, I am lucky. And it allowed my chiropractor to see me again, how lucky is he? Thus, for the past two weeks I have been only able to do upper body movements, and today I will start with a few lower body ones, if they feel ok, at a lower weight and reps. Slow and steady.

All of this has me looking at 2015 with a new focus. It isn’t “let’s see all the benchmarks I can hit!” cause that was a recipe for disaster for 2014. Instead I plan on lowering my weight, working on form and technique. I am also going to work on stretching more so that I have supple {aka NOT tight} muscles.

In the food eating world—I am glad I reset myself with a Whole30, but I didn’t do it for 30 days. I needed the mental kick in the ass and from there simply introduced a few specific foods back. I have been mainly sugar-free for three weeks and I had one slip last Thursday and I felt so physically ill the next day I vowed “never again!!”. Since then I have been continuing eating lots of meat, veggies, a few starches {aka potatoes}, some fruit and chai tea. Cause chai. I have even decided I dislike the amount of sugar in a Lara Bar, even if it’s all real ingredients, it is small and doesn’t leave me satiated.

Lastly, this weekend my husband and I are off to Cancun to see my cousin get married! I can’t wait to be at a 5 star resort and spending quality time with all the family that is going to be there. I plan on swimming like a fish, reading at least 2 books and soaking up a ton of sun.

The Honesty Post

ex fed up1Alright it’s time to get real, shake off the sugar-coating. I had a rough summer where I was injured and I went back to sugar. I gained some weight back. I didn’t workout much and lost some of my conditioning. I also got sad about it. But that sadness turned into resolve when I saw “Fed Up“, the documentary about the sugar industry. It showed children who were trying to lose weight and weren’t being successful even though they were extremely active and eating {or so they thought} healthily. It hit home to me that even though I eat more veggies and protein and I have given up pasta and rice, I still struggle with sugar. Sugar {or lack thereof} is the key to being healthy and if you are wanting to lose weight, cutting it down is the most important part.

So I dusted myself off, gave myself a pep talk that went something like “You feel crappy and you love all this sugary stuff, but it’s this sugary crap that is making you feel this way. So it’s time {again ha ha} to really say good-bye. Your health is at stake. You will see new sugary delights come out and you need to come to terms with the fact that you will not have them. New Starbucks drinks, new cookies and the like. Make peace with it now.”

ex fed up2

Your brain on sugar is identical to it being on cocaine. In fact, in studies, mice chose sugar water OVER cocaine!

And thus I started a new Whole 30. Cause it works–seriously, I am able to make my mind just bend to this for 30 days. Plus I need to put my sugar dragon into a coma, so I can move forward. I started the Whole 30 on Tuesday, after a friend left from visiting for the weekend. I knew Wednesday was going to be the hangover, but baby jesus was I unprepared for the hangover that came that day. The headache wrapped from my front temple to the back of my neck. It made my neck stiff. I was also exhausted and slept for 8 hours that night. Soundly.

Thankfully I am feeling better and I haven’t hit the Kill All the Things, which is kind of great, as that was supposed to happen today. But if I am unlucky, it will hit tomorrow.