So I have alluded to regaining some weight, being injured and other fun things for a while. Well after a recent doctor’s visit {where it is mandatory for you to get weighed}, it turns out I have gained more weight than I care to admit. So I won’t go into full details, but it’s enough that I had a serious wake-up call. I have tried lots of stuff on my own, and I am waiving a white flag bc for a good chunk of the time I eat fairly clean. This white flag is not what you might assume, I am not giving up, because I am not a fucking quitter. I made an appointment with a nutritionist for next week because I am so done with all of this. I got the number from my previous trainer Kat, who has also struggled like I do and she saaaang this woman’s praises. So I go to her Thursday next week and I am really hoping she can help me. I have been religiously writing in my food diary for 2 weeks now, so I will have something to bring her {which I am sure is more than other people bring for their first visit, but I want to get fucking ON this}. It’s hard to admit that things got this far out of control, but it has. And I have been having a lot of treats for a while and not working out as much and it has just snowballed.

I need an eating plan that works if I workout and if I don’t, because I am still seeing people to work on my body.

Which segues nicely to my other topic, which is I am going to go to an airrosti next week as well. My lower back is still giving me grief {I believe from the incident in November} and I need someone to really get into my muscles and work that shit out. Right now I have to modify for that and my knee. And to honest I am just tired of it all. I just want to workout, feel good and be done with it. I don’t like sitting here on a Wednesday, feeling my lower back talk to me and wondering if I should really go to Crossfit tonight or not. I don’t want to further hurt myself, I don’t want to feel like a slacker and I am caught in the middle in my mind.

I think I might just row tonight, get some activity without stressing out my back. And then once I get worked on, then I will figure out the rest. But it sucks.