I haven’t stopped readers! I have been busy, yes, but I have also been having a hard time figuring out what to write. And then more things happened and then I fell spectacularly behind.

Sick

I haven’t worked out in two weeks. I got a cold that didn’t really kick my butt, but more slowly took over my body. And left me exhausted, seriously I slept for hours at a time and didn’t feel rested. I would wake up in the morning, feeling a-ok and by the afternoon all my energy would be zapped from my body and I would go home from work, sometimes early, and sleep. It has been lingering for two whole weeks. I want it to screw off.

I am down a FULL SIZE

In other news!!! I was out shopping in Canada and bought some XL shirts in a regular sized store. I thought it might have just been that store. On a whim this week I went shopping with my mom and tried on a shirt that was a size Large…and it fit!! What the what?? I now must admit that I am down the size and start possibly discarding the old shirts I own, that I wear, that give me no shape. I also need to go pant shopping…and I am in denial about this. So right now I am ok with loose hanging pants. I just find that I am replacing clothes faster these days and they haven’t worn out, so I am holding off. But I did buy the shirt in Large, it was only $20 and made me feel darn good about myself!

Perfection?

I have been battling with myself. I couldn’t workout. I wasn’t eating 100% clean (I had my birthday! I have been stressed out at work!). I knew I was still on the horse, but the horse was having a lot of sweets lately. I knew I was dangerously close to being mad at myself and going hog wild. So I sat down with myself, literally, and looked at myself in the mirror and told myself I was beautiful. That I was capable. That I was going through a rough patch, some of it out of my control, some of it not. It didn’t make me any less of a person. I needed to sit myself down and have a reality check to fully get there. I am not perfect and I need to stop trying to be that way. It’s such a hard thing to stop, that drive to be #1, to be the best, to be perfect.

So I am feeling better today and if this continues, I plan to go back to boot camp on Monday. I have been active–golfed for 5 hours this week, gardening, going for walks around the neighbourhood. I have already gotten back to eating better. Again, not off the horse. This was a great test to see if I could practice what I preach.