Day 4 Check-In

Today was rough. My mind was my enemy at every turn, as was my environment. Today I was at a training class from 9am to 3pm. In said class there was a bowl of chocolates to my left and my right, beckoning to me to be eaten. I didn’t touch them, but around 2pm I wanted to!! And badly! Instead I drank a lot of water and when I got hungry at 10am, I broke out my pre-planned snack of carrots and hummus. I also brought my own lunch, since the usual sandwiches were not within my eating guidelines–the bread all being white. And that was fine, I like my lunches better than sandwiches. It was the cookies that were sitting out for dessert that was the killer. Those little bitches called to me all afternoon!!! And I ignored their sultry looks and when others ate them in front of me I literally wanted to snatch the cookie from them and eat it. I am happy to report that I did no such thing, I was a darling angel and didn’t touch the cookie. I left victorious–having eaten only the food I brought with me, minus one small bag of baked Lay’s. Yes, I broke down and had that.

When I left, I was so proud of myself!! Victory was mine!! That was when my brain started to say to me “You were so good, you deserve a treat for being so good!”. This is where I learned that I have an evil voice living inside my head that feels it deserves a treat for avoiding treats or being good in certain situations. How is that logical?? Maybe the lesson I take away from this isn’t to deprive myself when I so desperately want that cookie, and then maybe that evil voice won’t come and try to trick me into having something afterwards. I can confirm that I stayed strong during this test as well, and ate no treats.

I am hoping tomorrow is better for me mentally. Today was a struggle and a half. Even while cooking dinner I was thinking “cheese would be so good with this”. Blast you brain!!!! Stop being all filled with cravings! And thoughts like “I want ice cream”!!!

As for the Advocare products, I am taking them like clockwork, they still taste great. I am noticing my pants are looser and that my hips are getting smaller–all good things!! I wonder what tomorrow will bring…