I recognize that my transformation and weight loss is becoming apparent to everyone around me. It invites comments everyday from people. Interesting fact–these people have only known me eight months at the most, some a lot less. But as I get smaller, as I lose more weight, it seems more apparent even when it happens in smaller amounts. But some people in my life are saying things that might seem to be supportive in their mind but are actually being horribly offensive. I know that I am sensitive about how I look my body and how I am perceived. I think all people who are over weight are. But I am also my harshest critic. I have struggled and continue to struggle with accepting myself for who I am. I see pretty pictures on Pinterest that tell me to love my body at every size, but do you know how hard that is when your body is mocked by society? Considered disgusting? That it is interpreted as me being lazy? Even now I struggle with liking my arms, and they have dropped many inches in eight months. It still waddles. They aren’t tight. I have not one muffin top, but two. The second one is slowly going away but it’s still here. And I don’t like it. At all. Lastly, I have a large butt. I remember distinctly being in my sister’s wedding as a bridesmaid and the woman calling what I had as a sway back. It made the dress protrude from the back in a most unflattering fashion. I am happy to report that all these areas are diminishing but comments like “It’s finally going away” are not helpful. To tell me that an area of my body is finally getting smaller is insulting. I have always been fully aware of how my body looked, I never intended to get so big and I am proud of the track I am on. But if you are going to make comments to anyone who is going through this process, please take heed: those of us on this road are sensitive and you should choose your words carefully. Please just say “you look great!” and don’t talk about specific body parts. Just remember, the person you are talking to is hyper-aware of what they look like, most likely passionately want to shrink the areas on their body that are disproportionately large and won’t like any comments made about the area in question.
On other news, my new workout at home, when I can’t get to boot camp, is rocking!! My next post I will share what I do!! It makes me sweaty gross and makes me feel crazy accomplished 🙂