It leads to me analyzing everything about my fitness and eating. I am the ultimate over-analyzer, which means I have been dissecting what I have been doing, looking at how I eat, workout and how I determine my success. Here is what I am pondering:

1. I am considering training for a marathon. Why? Many reasons come to mind. First, I am in much better shape than a year ago, my cardio is getting good and I feel it is a natural next step. Further it gives me something to work towards. Sets out goals. I respond really well to goals and I want to start setting some for my physical abilities. As well, my gym is starting a running class and when I stop being sick, I am going to go in and become an annual member and will be able to join this runners group.
2. I am considering joining Weight Watchers. I have been doing a bit of self reflection and I know I need help with my eating. And I need it on a consistent basis. I looked for a nutritionist in this are on Google but there doesn’t seem to be one around here. I know my weakness is my snacking. I will have three good square meals a day and then I will eat something terrible in the afternoon or early morning. I need someone to help keep me accountable. And maybe I will lose weight in the process. I am more interested in figuring out my food issues than finding a quick way to lose weight. The thing that has prevented me from joining already is me being sick, not working out and weighing heavily. It’s so hard!! I dislike the weight I am at, I get that I can’t control my being sick and yet I am scared to weigh in.

I wish that this was simple. That it would come to me naturally. I love sweets, and I wish I had more control around them. But what I need most is to really realize I am not perfect and to stop my cycle of “I am failing, might as well have chocolate” or “I am doing so well, nothing sweet for me”. I need to find what my personal moderation is.