All I can say is I took four days off from my diet this past weekend. My friend Steve came for a visit and I knew what the weekend was going to be. I also considered it a test to see if I could eat off program and not feel guilty. And then, if I didn’t feel guilty, how hard would it be for me to get back on track? I can report that I ate anything I wanted and did not feel guilty during the weekend. I did feel guilty on the Monday, when my life went back to normal, but during, I kept it in check and I enjoyed my weekend. I was also surprised that my body did not reject the food it was given, considering how meticulous I eat these days.

On an exercise level, I went to kickboxing Friday morning with Steve and on my own Saturday to boot camp. Sunday I took off from working out and Monday I didn’t have time. But I was consistent here and worked hard during the workouts.

In the aftermath I felt guilty and bloated. Kind of gross, actually. I wasn’t obsessed with what I had done but I did feel remorse for taking a step back food wise and possibly making my weight loss less. Especially since I am already slow in losing weight. But I am not going to obsess. I am moving forward and working out and am back to my regular eating patterns (minus a possible chocolate bar a day since Steve brought me a case of Aero chocolate bars, as they are only found in Canada and I love them).

Learnings:

1. I can eat out and not feel guilty. Heck I can eat out for a few days, eat possibly 3,000 calories in a day, and not feel guilty. This is personal progress in my relationship with food.

2. I do not like eating off program, and not because of guilt. I am working too hard to let myself go like this. I loved the food, especially the Saturday lunch at Maggiano’s. That Italian lunch was phenomenal and I enjoyed every second of it. And in the future that can be a nice place to eat at for a special event.

3. I missed my regular food! What?? My regular food does not make me feel bloated, heavy and gross. They make me feels clean and energized. I have gotten used to this feeling and considering my new life of working 10 hours a day, driving 2 hours a day and working out an hour a day I need energy.

I am so glad this happened! And now I am dealing with a 6 weeks check-in this weekend that will surely be less spectacular all things considered. And I am trying to be ok with it and I have to be really. It’s about taking accountability for your actions, moving forward and saying “yes my weight loss was lower, but you are being so consistent in your life. In the end, you are awesome and no number reflects who you are.”