Things I Miss

When you start to gain weight you start to lose parts of yourself as your skin expands. People who are thin would never understand the loss of things like you ankles, your wrist bones or collar bones. For me it got to the point where my jaw line was disappearing into my neck.  And things I didn’t realize I was missing, that have started to return, which are my shoulders and their transition to my arms. I never paid attention, but it was like my ankles when I was really heavy–they were a straight line, no definition, my ankles had disappeared. Now my shoulders and arms are slowly becoming more defined and I can see my shoulders curve into my arms. I don’t remember the last time I saw this, but it made me start to think about other parts of my body that I haven’t seen since I was 14. Literally, I have been overweight since I was a teenager.

I miss my wrist bones. I remember being 14 and sitting with my friend Erin and we were comparing out wrists. She was obviously thinner, a dancer, who never had to worry about her weight. Then there was me, the wide shouldered soccer girl who had wrist bones but they didn’t protrude the same way Erin’s did. Slowly over the next year or so I gained weight and they disappeared, and I haven’t seen them since.

Another body part I remember and haven’t seen are my collar bones. I am not sure I remember a time when I did see them, and to be perfectly honest I am not sure I am ever going to be at a weight that I will ever see then again. I had this friend Tammy who was so thin you could always see her collar bones, and I was so jealous of her.

In thinking of this, I think I am adding something to my long term goal–I would like to see my wrist bones again. I don’t know what a good timeline is for this, so I am going to say by June 1st? We will see. But I really want to have them back!!! Do any of my readers know of anything else they miss since they gained weight or something they gained by losing weight? I have been big for so long that I have forgotten these things.